Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (7925)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

#20779336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48070) - you deserved it (3981)

On 07/13/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Festivaler - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48010) - you deserved it (8453)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (3209)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47957) - you deserved it (9982)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47908) - you deserved it (13531)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47749) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (5044)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47702) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47663) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (2874)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47647) - you deserved it (6953)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: