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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (10774)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47933) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (3980)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47422) - you deserved it (6658)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47278) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (23094)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47156) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47093) - you deserved it (3610)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (3812)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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