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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49073) - you deserved it (7123)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

#20799897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (4240)

On 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by oddgrrl99 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

#20762512
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49032) - you deserved it (3229)

On 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm - animals - by nakedweddingday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48872) - you deserved it (3992)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48831) - you deserved it (8110)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48773) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48624) - you deserved it (9369)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48570) - you deserved it (3959)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48550) - you deserved it (4591)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (23885)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)



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