Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62898) - you deserved it (3633)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62448) - you deserved it (10817)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62279) - you deserved it (5413)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62076) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61702) - you deserved it (5373)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61670) - you deserved it (21978)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61178) - you deserved it (9112)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61148) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60862) - you deserved it (3660)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

#20780305
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60295) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by WOW (man) - Kenya

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60229) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59919) - you deserved it (7810)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: