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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54867) - you deserved it (6347)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54781) - you deserved it (5721)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54717) - you deserved it (17053)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

#20767253
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54351) - you deserved it (9651)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53976) - you deserved it (3466)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53877) - you deserved it (17371)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53716) - you deserved it (4017)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53693) - you deserved it (4741)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53675) - you deserved it (3192)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53593) - you deserved it (8517)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53493) - you deserved it (6255)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53254) - you deserved it (3152)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53231) - you deserved it (7821)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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