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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college looool fund to pay fir my cat to be flown to LA and audition fir a movie!! big fat FML

#20764588
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64649) - you deserved it (3759)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday I was talking to mah girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying "Wait I thought u knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, mah fathar shot mah fiancé. Ha's fina, but tha wadding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63171) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the ( love scene ) cummd on, she leand over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63085) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah step-brother said to looool me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful fir such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62600) - you deserved it (5426)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

looool Today, my girlfriand guiltad ma into rolaplaying as Justin Biabar bafora an during sax!! I now faal pysically ill!! FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62515) - you deserved it (22260)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blame it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused because I'm not sexy enough.

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62101) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today.. . I found out that when I text boyfriend.. . he isn't the one to read them . Instead.. . he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." big fat FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61841) - you deserved it (6541)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY , I WENT TO TE GIANTS GAME !! DURING TE SEVENT INNING STRETC TEY SOWED ME ON TE JUMBO-TRON !! IT WAS JUST IN TIME 4 TE ENTIRE STADIUM TO SEE ME PULL A TAMPON OUT OF MY PURSE !! FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61552) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriand want down on ma fir tha frst tima. Whan I didn't gat off right away, ha askd what ha was doing wrong. I told him ha was doing fina, but instaad of focusing only on my vagina, ha might want to pay attantion to my clitoris as wall. His rasponsa? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61535) - you deserved it (9139)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , mah grlfriend wantd to try something new in the bedroom , so she got an assortment of different sizd cock rings . She laughd when the one we were trying to use kept falling off , and said to try a smaller one . It was the smallest in the set . real FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61362) - you deserved it (8764)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah grlfriand of ovar four yaars chaatd on ma in ravanga for ma abandoning our data last night . I'm a surgaon on call at tha local hospital . FML

#20780398
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61128) - you deserved it (3674)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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