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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65567) - you deserved it (5677)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65367) - you deserved it (5161)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65367) - you deserved it (6614)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65349) - you deserved it (9640)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65047) - you deserved it (11437)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64999) - you deserved it (23169)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64895) - you deserved it (5642)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64824) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

#20780398
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64502) - you deserved it (3935)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63380) - you deserved it (22373)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63310) - you deserved it (4355)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63010) - you deserved it (8214)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62757) - you deserved it (8930)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)



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