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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50644) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50545) - you deserved it (3426)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50313) - you deserved it (5992)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50041) - you deserved it (4965)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50020) - you deserved it (13797)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49943) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49902) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49831) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49711) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (3661)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (4938)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (8729)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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