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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58405) - you deserved it (5701)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58380) - you deserved it (4150)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58270) - you deserved it (3195)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58193) - you deserved it (3294)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57993) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57530) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57410) - you deserved it (3626)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57339) - you deserved it (4494)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (66223)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57246) - you deserved it (16171)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (9880)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56948) - you deserved it (3660)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56877) - you deserved it (6719)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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