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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

#20676088
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34647) - you deserved it (2759)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:07pm - work - by Check Writer - United States (California)

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (11392)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (18404)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

#20693953
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (5296)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm - work - by CheesyCasey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (39725)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (33326)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (22939)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (53358)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (37573)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (50001)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States



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