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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (7454)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47715) - you deserved it (8723)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (4884)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47560) - you deserved it (9093)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47309) - you deserved it (2847)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47255) - you deserved it (4096)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47212) - you deserved it (4002)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47038) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (4288)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46807) - you deserved it (3744)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46744) - you deserved it (4256)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (5249)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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