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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49828) - you deserved it (3674)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49822) - you deserved it (4400)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49668) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49663) - you deserved it (3419)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49609) - you deserved it (10316)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49552) - you deserved it (5166)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49434) - you deserved it (8668)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49344) - you deserved it (22906)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (3633)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48851) - you deserved it (6656)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48765) - you deserved it (4685)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (2792)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48607) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore



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