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May 2013

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Today, I Had To Set Parental Control On IPad So Dad Couldn't Watch Drty Video On Youtube. FML

#20696604
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55365) - you deserved it (4516)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, mah boyfriend woke me up the same way he alway does, by pulling on mah hair . Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me an kissed him . Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way . real FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55147) - you deserved it (9220)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I Finishd A Dance Competition. With Competitions, It Requres U To Wear A Lot Of Makeup Like False Eyelashes And Rd Lipstick. I Went Into A Starbucks To Get A Coffee And A Boy Around 18 Askd Me, In All Seriousness,hat My Rate Is Fir One Night. FML

#20642261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55072) - you deserved it (10609)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad calld me a ( deadbeat loser ) after I cummd back from my frst day of voluntary rehab 4 my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking wed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54771) - you deserved it (7869)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday mah manager calld me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excitd about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54754) - you deserved it (4359)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, marks the thrd week in which mah grlfriend has gone without taking a shower . She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month . She's convinced baby wipes will ( hold her over ) . FML

#20638375
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54503) - you deserved it (9273)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (3046)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I Woke Up Without Mah Fiancé In Bed Next To Me, But I Assumed He'd Gone To Work Early . I Went On Facebook To Find That He Had Posted A Break-up Post To Himself From Mah Account An Set Mah Status To Single . I Then Found A Note With "Sorry" Written On It Stuck To The Kitchen Counter . FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54314) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, mah step-dad was talking about how he was raisd in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stoppd, lookd right at mah mom and said, "Find her, fed her, f*ck her, 4get her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54048) - you deserved it (3721)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, Mah Grlfriend Dumped Me Fir Cheating On Her. Her ( Proof ) Was An Image Of Me Making Out With A Grl. Pretty Damning, Except She Loaded It Up In Photoshop,here I Saw The Image Layers She'd Used To Fake Thehole Thing. I'm Not Surehat The Hell She Was Thinking Either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53810) - you deserved it (3523)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil

Today... it's my birtday. Tree people wisd me appy birtday: Google... my insurance company... and te place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53765) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried abouthat could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53697) - you deserved it (7529)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

my boyfriend an I were getting intimate on te batroom floor. Someow nose managd to start bleeding, so e bent me over te tub an kept going because e didn't want to "ruin te moment". FML

#20694473
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53678) - you deserved it (9015)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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