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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (6912)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (7148)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46018) - you deserved it (2984)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (5513)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (5460)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (4032)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (2726)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45865) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45697) - you deserved it (8361)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45688) - you deserved it (6533)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45668) - you deserved it (6808)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45591) - you deserved it (2614)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States



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