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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48813) - you deserved it (10435)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48775) - you deserved it (7513)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (5431)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48669) - you deserved it (7214)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48664) - you deserved it (3645)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48577) - you deserved it (4012)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (3734)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48493) - you deserved it (2806)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (7113)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48249) - you deserved it (5093)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)



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