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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48024) - you deserved it (3370)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47929) - you deserved it (7669)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47828) - you deserved it (10526)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47827) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47807) - you deserved it (10092)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47752) - you deserved it (6355)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47613) - you deserved it (7101)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47594) - you deserved it (3941)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (7684)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47379) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47359) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47334) - you deserved it (13917)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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