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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51144) - you deserved it (4452)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51072) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51058) - you deserved it (4230)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51037) - you deserved it (11017)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50991) - you deserved it (4213)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50841) - you deserved it (3268)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (6743)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50749) - you deserved it (10856)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50732) - you deserved it (5597)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (2679)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50620) - you deserved it (3431)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom



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