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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (6126)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45806) - you deserved it (6849)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45766) - you deserved it (7371)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45704) - you deserved it (5437)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (4128)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45497) - you deserved it (2682)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (4206)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45360) - you deserved it (2008)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45298) - you deserved it (2802)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45295) - you deserved it (6817)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45264) - you deserved it (3912)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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