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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (3055)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55268) - you deserved it (4709)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55246) - you deserved it (5325)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54885) - you deserved it (8967)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

#20638375
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54658) - you deserved it (9287)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54533) - you deserved it (4531)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

#20643291
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54388) - you deserved it (5705)

On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54244) - you deserved it (3729)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54158) - you deserved it (19172)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54123) - you deserved it (18593)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54013) - you deserved it (4075)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53983) - you deserved it (5147)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53941) - you deserved it (12350)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States



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