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May 2013

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YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND FORCED ME TO DO STRETCHING EXERCISE WITH HIM BEFORE AN AFTER SEX AS A "SAFETY PRECAUTION". FML

#20645667
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (8788)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would lyk to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53514) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today I got to was my ex-wife's dises at er apartment wile er new boyfriend played wit my daugter in te living room. fat FML

#20689927
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53499) - you deserved it (11623)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

I mat mah naw roommata. Sha has a lifa-siza cardboard cutout of Justin looool Biabar in har room, which I'va saan har having actual convarsations with twica alraady. I hava to shara a badroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53424) - you deserved it (4434)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I happily told my looool parent that my boyfriend proposd to me last night. My dad's response? ( Marry that goofy bastard and your out of the will. ) FML

#20654832
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53423) - you deserved it (5174)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, mah mom asked me what a MILF is . Apparently that's her nickname at work . FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (4138)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I HELPED AN ELDERLY WOMAN CARRY HER SUITCASE DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS . WHEN I GOT TO THE BOTTOM, A MAN TACKLED ME TO THE GROUND THINKING I WAS STEALING THE WOMAN'S LUGGAGE . AS I LAY IN PAIN, HE RAN UP THE STAIRS TO RETURN THE SUITCASE AND THE POOR WOMAN HAD TO CARRY IT DOWN ON HER OWN . FML

#20686906
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53201) - you deserved it (2848)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, I WAS SITTING NEXT TO AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. MUCH TO MAH SURPRISE, HE STARTED STROKING HIS FOOT AGAINST MINE. I WAS HAPPY AT THE FLIRTING BECAUSE I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO HIM FOREVER, SO I PLAYED ALONG. THAT'SHEN HE STOOD UP AND EXPLAINED HE WAS TRYING TO STRETCH OUT A CRAMP. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53179) - you deserved it (10439)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today..!! I was questiond by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car!! That 12-year-old is my daughter..!! who refusd to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular!! FML

#20653026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53027) - you deserved it (6697)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up an offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me an took it fir himself. The woman an I pointed out mah cast an crutches, an asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52884) - you deserved it (2876)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walkd in on ma usband making out wit is accountant, te same woman wo comfortd me wen e ceatd on me te year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52819) - you deserved it (17484)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, mah boyfriand an I wara gatting intimata in tha backsaat of his car, whan a polica car pullad up bahind us . My mom latar told ma that intimacy was fina, just not in a car . Wa wara in tha car bacausa looool sha told ma that intimacy was fina, just not in har housa . FML

#20677651
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52677) - you deserved it (12033)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Taday I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready 4 marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th brthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52674) - you deserved it (10987)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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