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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58768) - you deserved it (4442)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58722) - you deserved it (3407)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (8535)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58386) - you deserved it (4459)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57905) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57467) - you deserved it (3612)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57422) - you deserved it (6716)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57390) - you deserved it (5206)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56803) - you deserved it (3046)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20686980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56752) - you deserved it (7511)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:23am - love - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56463) - you deserved it (5802)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56229) - you deserved it (5927)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)



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