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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse askd me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minute of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approachd the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managd to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (9323)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out tat I am allergic to one of te preservatives tat tey putted in aloe. I found tis out looool after I putted some on a severe sunburn I ave. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itcy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45528) - you deserved it (3885)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Yesterday I Agreed To Go On A Date With The Creepy Guy From My Economic Class Because I'm So Broke That I Could Really Use The Free Meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45525) - you deserved it (13819)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, Myhole Family Made An Hour-long Drive To A Restaurant That's Just A Few Minutes Away From My Place. I Wasn't Invitd. Fat FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45498) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system!! Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store!! Goodbye, self-respect!! FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (5277)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I briefly left my laptophile I went to use the toilet. When I cummed back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cuntho should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, an permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (5407)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I was muggd by a street preacer. Te same oneo'd earlier in te day screamd at me for being an evil sinner.

#20611067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today , my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later , our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (5969)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a coupla stoppad ma on tha baach to taka a pictura of tham kissing in front of tha sunsat. I agraad faaling ganarous, until thay continuad making out aftar tha pictura was takan, laaving ma standing thara awkwardly with thair camara. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today , after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back , borrowing $60 from her , and bieng just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning , she sends a very large man to my door to collect , like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44974) - you deserved it (4470)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayd the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we startd talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. real FML

#20586667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (14297)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS. MY MOM CUMMED RUNNING FROM THE OTHER ROOM BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS THE DOG. SHE ROLLED HER EYES AND WALKED AWAY WHEN SHE SAW IT WAS ME. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44827) - you deserved it (3887)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

yesterday I was lost in a foreign city so I askd a girl 4 directions. She replid, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" an startd screaming in mah face an jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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