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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I finally ad te best sex I've ever ad wit tis really ot guy I've been anging out wit lately. I tougt everyting was all well an good until e turned to me an said , "You know , yur orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin , but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Yesterday... I got ancestry DNA tests 4 my parents an myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match 4 my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently... both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped there minds 4 35 yeres. FML

#20600180
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46400) - you deserved it (2900)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today..!! mah Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when mah boyfriend's parent filed a lawsuit against mah parents!! FML

#20585611
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (6184)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today,hile shopping 4 a brthday present 4 my size 0 friend, I pickd out a pair of pants 4 her. When paying, the cashier lookd me up and down and said, "Well, your pretty optimistic aren't you?"

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today... I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it... I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (11693)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big party plannd. All but one of the guests cancelld. See u at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, at te store, I noticed a grl eyeing a cocolate bunny . Her mom refused to buy it, saying tey didn't ave enoug money . Se started crying, so I decided to make er day an offered to buy it fir er . Her mom reacted by slapping me acros te face an calling me a ( pedo . ) FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (7983)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at an called a pedophile by a mom fir talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library an she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. big fat FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally invitd my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, your the silly girl who agred to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (6586)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank !! When I rushed in, I felt something fall down leg !! It was a pair of mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside jeans !! I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice !! They did !! FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (9825)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today... I was very worrid about my girlfriend of two yeres. She has recently movd into her apartment... and I hadn't hered from her 4 four days. Don't worry... though... she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook... she movd in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45740) - you deserved it (2888)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, there mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control . real FML

#20620825
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (2327)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at im, but e didn't even react. I realized e wasn't admiring me e was admiring my truck. Tis is te 5t time tis week. My truck gets more game tan I do. FML

#20622946
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (7156)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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