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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (4437)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40584) - you deserved it (4958)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40379) - you deserved it (2133)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40216) - you deserved it (6627)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (19311)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

#20623837
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (5655)

On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (3177)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40082) - you deserved it (5611)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40080) - you deserved it (3583)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (4415)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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