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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

#20623837
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41811) - you deserved it (5863)

On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (4562)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (8709)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41757) - you deserved it (5610)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (9407)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (16066)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41504) - you deserved it (5744)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41387) - you deserved it (2199)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (8683)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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