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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44330) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44304) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44279) - you deserved it (3128)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (3288)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44236) - you deserved it (4141)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44096) - you deserved it (9711)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44013) - you deserved it (4040)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (3629)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (2727)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (11812)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43523) - you deserved it (3708)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



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