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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (13819)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (9321)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (3885)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45494) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (5277)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45226) - you deserved it (5406)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45169) - you deserved it (5969)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44957) - you deserved it (4471)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (14296)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44807) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44766) - you deserved it (6270)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44710) - you deserved it (8402)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom



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