Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45700) - you deserved it (7158)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45584) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (9331)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (13829)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45534) - you deserved it (3114)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (5278)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (5408)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (5412)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

#20611067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (3593)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

#20618435
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (5973)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45024) - you deserved it (4471)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (14299)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: