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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... ma fiancé dumped me cuz e claimed e needed to "focus on is career an is engagement." Wen I asked im ow dumping me would elp wit is engagement... e immediately replied wit... "No... I mean ma oter one." FML

#20569834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47522) - you deserved it (3352)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

TODAY, AT WORK AS A GYNECOLOGIST, I CALLED IN MAH LAST PATIENT OF THE DAY . AS SOON AS I TOOK A PEEK, I NOTICED THAT SHE HAD STUCK GOOGLY-EYES ABOVE HER VAGINA . SHE TOLD ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE NOT TO BE AFRAID, CUZ ( SHE DOESN'T BITE . ) FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

2DAY I TOOK SPANISH TEST, AND I FELT VERY CONFIDENT. I GOT THE TEST BACK LATER, AND SAW TEACHER HAD WRITTEN ON IT: "CONGRATS ON THE 94%, BUT I KNOW YOU CHEATD." FML

#20615717
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47472) - you deserved it (6978)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (3045)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Taday trying to be friendly , I said good morning to the creepy guy at work !! He respondd by wordlessly hugging me !! I was touchd , until I realizd he was trying to unhook my bra !! FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47189) - you deserved it (7841)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY, IT'S ONLY DAY OFF WORK IN AHILE. I TOLD BOSS I'D BE AVAILABLE VIA PHONE IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES. SO FAR I'VE BEEN CALLD THREE TIMES: TO ASK HOW THE FAX WORKS, TO LET ME KNOW IT'S A SLOW DAY, AND TO ASK MEHERE THE LETTER R IS ON A KEYBOARD. FML

#20604416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile fir "lying". fat FML

#20615089
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46985) - you deserved it (3881)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wantd, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears.

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46961) - you deserved it (8908)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today.. . tings got pretty steamy between my boyfriend an me . We started doing stuff tat neiter of us ad tried before . Ten.. . e straddled me wit a raging erection an boomed.. . ( IT HAS RISEN! ) He didn't understand y I was suddenly no longer in te mood . FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (9330)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, Mah Boyfriand And I Got Intimata Fir Tha First Tima. A Faw Hours Latar, Wa Discovarad Ha's Highly Allargic To Mah Summar's Eva Soap. Ha Looks Lika Ha's Baan Attackad By Baas. Yay Fir Loosing Mah V-card. Raal FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46937) - you deserved it (7390)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE HAVING SEX; I KNOW THAT SOME WOMEN R GREAT MULTITASKERS, BUT I'M GUESSING IT WAS A BAD SIGNHEN SHE STARTED TO GO OVER THE SHOPPING LIST. FML

#20585940
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (13661)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , at work , I was screamd at and slappd by a woman fir supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality , I'd simply turnd her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowd number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46461) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States



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