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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (8174)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

#20605576
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49715) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49642) - you deserved it (4906)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49529) - you deserved it (8069)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49399) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49351) - you deserved it (4432)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (3526)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (4655)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (6439)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (3255)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49075) - you deserved it (7019)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49058) - you deserved it (3654)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (3927)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States



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