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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56308) - you deserved it (5300)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55773) - you deserved it (6814)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55420) - you deserved it (3700)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55320) - you deserved it (7883)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55301) - you deserved it (3634)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55129) - you deserved it (7773)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54827) - you deserved it (6853)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (7025)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54606) - you deserved it (4093)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53942) - you deserved it (12364)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom



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