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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44844) - you deserved it (6482)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (4455)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (14276)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (9621)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44569) - you deserved it (8394)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44488) - you deserved it (11462)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (3049)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44437) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (3600)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44106) - you deserved it (4090)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

#20613229
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43921) - you deserved it (3743)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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