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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (17937)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (14968)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (4536)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (7139) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (57092)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

#20569021
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (1058)

On 03/31/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by roomatewoes (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23558) - you deserved it (42351)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (46800)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (5750)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (45020)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (42004)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (64934)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)



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