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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67643) - you deserved it (7181)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65670) - you deserved it (12619)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65312) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64847) - you deserved it (3941)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63596) - you deserved it (3047)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62891) - you deserved it (13148)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62132) - you deserved it (13923)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61814) - you deserved it (5418)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61125) - you deserved it (3242)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60525) - you deserved it (20224)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60255) - you deserved it (4457)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59699) - you deserved it (10730)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59257) - you deserved it (4415)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)



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