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Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
Today , I found out that mah boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's mah best friend , we do this all the time." I have been dating him fir over a year. FML
Today, mah grandma gava ma a sax talk. Not tha usual ona, aithar. This ona was about blowjobs. I had to sit politaly as sha axplainad it's somathing all woman hava to laarn if thay want a wall-bahavad husband, but that it's an ( acquirad tasta ). Gag ma. maga FML
Today... an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I lookd sexy in a picture online. He then askd himself y he had never askd me out before. Apparently... he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship... or how it endd when he slept with sister. FML
Friday 27 March 2015