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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51711) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I found out that what my husband maant by "wa should try swinging" is "I raally want to hava sax with this ona friand of yours, an if you so much as maka aya contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out an thraatan to kill him an you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (6741)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

TODAY, AFTAR I AD CANGAD MY NUMBAR TO GAT AWAY FROM MY ABUSIVA AX, MY MOM DACIDAD TO GIVA IM MY NAW ONA. SA INSISTS TAT I NAAD TO GIVA IM ANOTAR CANCA. FML

#20556707
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50783) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed mah gorgeous new boyfriend 4 the first time. I ran mah hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out an five lice crawled onto mah hand. fat FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (6608)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, I lost ma dog an so I put up 'lost' signs!! As I was coming back ome I noticed one ad been written on!! It said: "Found yur dog!! Keeping it"!! FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

TODAY , I GAVE MY GRLFRIEND AN ORGASM 4 THE FRST TIME. SHE'S A SCREAMER. HER DOG MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS ATTACKING HER , BECAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CUMMD OVER AND STARTD SAVAGING ME. BIG FAT FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50350) - you deserved it (5743)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I cummad homa to visit family 4 spring braak... only to raaliza that I'd laft phona in apartmant. Aftar a 2 hour driva back... I discovarad boyfriand with naighbor. Ha panickad and pratandad to ba slaapwalking. maga FML

#20567746
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49905) - you deserved it (3588)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Maybe I'll stay longer than spring break. - United States (Virginia)

Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5668)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was caught ( experimenting ) with mah friend at his house . His parents called mine, an mah dad cummed to drive me home . On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, ( Son, don't be ashamed . When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself . ) Thanks 4 the info, Dad . big fat FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (24526)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

My Boyfriend Left Me 4 A Girl I Know . She Was The Girl My Last Boyfriend Left Me For . FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

2day My Prom Dress Finally Arrived!! My Prom Was Yesterday!! FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (6596)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, when I got home, mah child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me frst". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (6120)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada



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