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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15184) - you deserved it (30401)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14719) - you deserved it (54427) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14400) - you deserved it (54655)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (23805)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (27731)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (29466)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13426) - you deserved it (35761)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12997) - you deserved it (42760)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12112) - you deserved it (41484)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11634) - you deserved it (29751)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11499) - you deserved it (48779)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (66371)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10662) - you deserved it (22982)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)



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