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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36551) - you deserved it (8418)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (3232)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (5538)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

#20533390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (4132)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (4745)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35947) - you deserved it (4810)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (2928)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (16020)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)



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