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March 2013

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Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay 4 school. mega FML

#20563641
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (4711)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States

TODAY , MY SUPERSTITIOUS GRLFRIEND OF 4 YEARS SNEEZED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PROPOSAL. SHE CLAIMED IT WAS A SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE 4 US TO BREAK UP AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LEFT. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (3388)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today , fir the sixth time in a row , I was driving mah kid to school an he made me late fir work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (6218)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today , I found out that mah boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's mah best friend , we do this all the time." I have been dating him fir over a year. FML

#20532334
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

today I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, an she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly an said, ( But... looool why...? ) FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (3692) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, mah grandma gava ma a sax talk. Not tha usual ona, aithar. This ona was about blowjobs. I had to sit politaly as sha axplainad it's somathing all woman hava to laarn if thay want a wall-bahavad husband, but that it's an ( acquirad tasta ). Gag ma. maga FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (5374)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I looool decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (6196)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, I was on a grls trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost.

#20564361
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43406) - you deserved it (18756)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guyho works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He endd up asking looool if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43095) - you deserved it (3993)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

2day I realizd that the smell of chlorine has startd to turn me on, probably because girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house !! Guess who works as a swim instructor !! FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43092) - you deserved it (5995)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today... an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I lookd sexy in a picture online. He then askd himself y he had never askd me out before. Apparently... he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship... or how it endd when he slept with sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (3098)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States



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