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March 2013

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Today, mah social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today , I went 4 mah daily post-op doctor's appointment , where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout mah apartment , due to mah washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

#20562286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26490) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, aftar months of mah doctor talling ma that mah haart palpitations ara simply dua to anxiaty, an that I'm parfactly haalthy, I dacidad to waight looool train to faca mah faars. Two hours latar, I was in tha amargancy room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those ( My Family ) stickers 4 her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One 4 her, and one 4 her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (3416)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing there toilets, an my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floor to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

#20550859
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (2271)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by thirddegreeburned - United States (Connecticut)

looool Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (4302)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6781) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

yesterday my pet parrot learnd a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voicehen I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech themhenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday, I was walking through mah townhen a man on a bicycle rolld up to me an said, "I don't mean this offensively but your really well-built." I don't knowhether he was commenting on mah hieght or comparing me to a shd, but mah mother won't stop laughing . FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today , I was being interviewd for an amazing job when I was askd wat animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt , I pickd the first thing that cummd to me. I respondd with , ( I'd be a turtle cuz I'm really slow sometimes. ) FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (17056)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

2day in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies an bookshich feature charactersho are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, an it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition 4 this. FML

#20535215
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (3714)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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