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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (2696) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32121) - you deserved it (5899)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (7352)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (5396)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (3624)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (3224)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31956) - you deserved it (5767)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (2247)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2387)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (12517)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (4021)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)



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