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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30769) - you deserved it (3185)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

#20563428
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (4334)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by hellostupid (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (11018)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (4433)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2297)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30124) - you deserved it (23801)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (5431)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (6162)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30011) - you deserved it (9866)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (2707)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (3246)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (2632)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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