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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (18228)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39957) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39935) - you deserved it (20234)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39932) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39900) - you deserved it (17017)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (9231)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39741) - you deserved it (8563) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39664) - you deserved it (2993)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (2602)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)



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