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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (4498) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (3126)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (7664)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (4100)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (11373)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (45114)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (5285)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (5009)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (3439)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (8661)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (10871)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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