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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35551)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML

#20489080
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11558) - you deserved it (29986)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic

Today, usband and I were fooling around in te sower . For some reason, I tougt it'd be a good idea to grab is man meat and sow im ow to was someone at a nursing ome . He said e'd never be turnd on by a nurse again . I'm a nurse . FML

#20515797
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11513) - you deserved it (38506)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Yesterday , I was about to make out with my boyfriend , so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later , I started choking on the gum , and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11374) - you deserved it (36413)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

I felt like letting ma ex know just ow I felt about all te bullsit e putted me troug. I dug up is number, typed a long paragrap wit lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. Te reply: "No wonder e broke up wit you." Tanks, woever as tat number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (41082)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today just so mah family would think someone might actually be interestd in me... I bought myself roses and attachd a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have workd if I hadn't forgotten to take looool the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10825) - you deserved it (40321)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I startd to go down a hill!! Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammd my brakes and blew a tire in the process!! It turns out the police car was an old cutout usd to trick people!! FML

#20520975
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10815) - you deserved it (52488)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today , I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me , and is telling everyone they have , or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (25221)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today I was walking with my friend . The grl in front of us had a really nice ass so I turned to my friend and said "Damn she has a perfect ass." He replied "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I downloadd a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up an fetch it from the living room . I think I've hit rock bottom . FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (45151) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing mah own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. big fat FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (43388)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Today, I calld sacurity at my scool bacausa I laft my mittans in a classroom and it was lockd. Wan ta sacurity officar sowd up, a askd if ta mittans I was looking for wara ta onas on my ands. I avan ad to taka ona of tam off to call tam. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9081) - you deserved it (47495)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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