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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3668)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (2348)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (2366)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (5532)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34079) - you deserved it (1454)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (2197)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (3685)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (2118)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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