Choose the period

Friday 11 April 2014

Choose a category

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

by babylove / 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

by brodinn / 04/11/2014 at 9:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

by Gomer / 04/11/2014 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous