Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Justhen her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart looool that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, I was explaining to mah son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I looool finishd explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he startd crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
Yesterday, crush kissed me fir the first time. However, hair was falling into face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately an casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
Today, soe fell looool apart a few minutes after I got to work . I called boyfriend an asked im to bring me te "pretty black pair" in closet . Wat did e bring? Black stilettos . I'm a waitress wit an eigt our sift . FML
Friday 27 March 2015