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Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (2569)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (2569)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (2569)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

#21450713
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (2569)

On 08/02/2015 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48222) - you deserved it (2568)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the store when I saw a little boy point to me and say something to his mom. I was out of earshot at the time, but I got close enough just in time to hear the mom reply, "God says we have to love everyone, even if they're ugly." FML

#6209512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31943) - you deserved it (2568)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2568)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

#18542269
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (2568)

On 12/18/2011 at 3:32am - animals - by sammyxoxo - Canada

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

#20063251
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/08/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by max5 (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML



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