Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27956) - you deserved it (2463)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

#21430073
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (2463)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

#21442569
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2463)

On 07/16/2015 at 1:03pm - love - by hayleediaz - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (2462)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (2462)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (2462)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34065) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

#3407899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54077) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: