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Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (1780)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

#5675476
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:06am - work - by perpetuallyscrewed (man) -

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (1777)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (1776)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I started my first day as a security guard. After spending three years and $30,000 to become a commercial pilot, only to be told on my yearly medical that I suddenly have type 1 diabetes, and will never fly again. FML

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

#5821457
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (1775)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (1773)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (1773)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (1772)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (1772)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)



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