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Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (2786)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27788) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (2785)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34673) - you deserved it (2784)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (2784)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39537) - you deserved it (2784)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

#21327810
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (2784)

On 12/31/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (2784)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (2784)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (2783)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)



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