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Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

#20057380
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (1701)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

#1978
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/21/2009 at 2:25am - work - by fr1day - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (1698)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (1698)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (1697)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (1696)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

#20083494
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (1696)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (1695)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML

#5862276
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (1694)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

#7203550
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Darkness162000 - France

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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