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Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

#17617365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (2380)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by SinkyBalls - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38431) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

#19954412
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (2380)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Darlington)

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32545) - you deserved it (2380)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

#6863631
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27630) - you deserved it (2379)

On 12/21/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Agata (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

#13746005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/07/2010 at 12:04am - health - by noname (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

#19126336
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (2378)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm - misc - by Carpet cleaner (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39524) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my score back for the monologue I performed. I got points taken off for "seeming nervous." My character was supposed to be nervous. FML

#19182467
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30072) - you deserved it (2378)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:38pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (Texas)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (2378)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML



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