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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2613)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

#3498415
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43249) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

#9697078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (2613)

On 04/07/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by A. Person - Mexico (Sonora)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24148) - you deserved it (2613)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

#20745796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45333) - you deserved it (2613)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36211) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#19013163
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (2612)

On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49751) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (2612)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (2611)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

#15464709
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (2611)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by Renter - United States



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