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Today, my drunken mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

by How's the salmon? / 05/10/2015 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

by ugly duckling / 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

by unloved / 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

by HylianFox / 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

by xXx / 10/16/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

by whysheheartless / 11/03/2009 at 2:24am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

by Kittykatkrunch / 11/12/2009 at 12:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

by justin_99 / 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

by melean / 10/04/2010 at 2:37am / Trinidad and Tobago / Money

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

by WTF / 03/07/2011 at 4:19am / Transportation

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous