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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21696) - you deserved it (2689)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

#19617909
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (2689)

On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37716) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42753) - you deserved it (2689)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

#21387438
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (2689)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

#21418223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41475) - you deserved it (2689)

On 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by TooLoud - United States (California)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (2688)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

#5209609
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43468) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Ljsmitty - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)



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