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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

#17163751
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2536)

On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

#18718517
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (2536)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by silvernights21 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (2536)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36730) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, my boss chewed me out for leaving a work function early. I explained it was to avoid a former co-worker I constantly fought with. The boss revealed he purposely invited that former co-worker, hoping our fight would provide entertainment. FML

#21376314
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (2536)

On 03/17/2015 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48494) - you deserved it (2535)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

#13038261
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

#6705143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (2535)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37128) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

#17600344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2535)

On 08/28/2011 at 12:06am - love - by bubbashrek - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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