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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (2502)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to stay after school to make up for a test. When I got outside, I saw my mom wasn't there to pick me up. I called her and she explained that there was an emergency. I walked six miles home to see that the emergency was that Ellen had Taylor Swift today and she couldn't miss it. FML

#6060393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28676) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

#4724946
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41731) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:43am - work - by elipses (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

#7181170
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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