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Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43328) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (3016)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

#15735853
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (3016)

On 04/11/2011 at 2:23am - work - by owmyhead (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51446) - you deserved it (3016)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54895) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (3014)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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