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Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (1588)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (1587)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

#19024888
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/08/2012 at 6:27am - misc - by 3.14 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

#19053682
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:02am - work - by That_guy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18069) - you deserved it (1586)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

#19478625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (1585)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

#20027507
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (1585)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (1584)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18156) - you deserved it (1584)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (1583)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States



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