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Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44059) - you deserved it (2550)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32748) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33294) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (2549)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

#17462682
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Help (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

#20536715
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (2548)

On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47744) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

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