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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (2298)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (2297)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML

#17154480
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (2297)

On 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by SonOfaSpy (man) - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

#17404352
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2297)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

#482
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/09/2008 at 10:09pm - love - by Clader - Sent from mobile version

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48045) - you deserved it (2296)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49504) - you deserved it (2296)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

#6351075
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (2296)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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