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Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (2177)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (2177)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

#14365094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by SharpeOne -

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

#17446710
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

#18279508
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

#19526699
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (2177)

On 04/25/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (2177)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

#550
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:41am - love - by Carla J. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26272) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

#8873623
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (2175)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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