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Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

by kendrox / 05/02/2014 at 3:11am / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

by Rosey / 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

by idkgiraffes / 12/27/2014 at 10:57pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

by me / 07/15/2009 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

by Username / 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm / Love

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 6:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 2:02am / Work

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

by sochunky / 01/05/2016 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Transportation

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to see a movie. He said he was busy that day, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me is making out and kicking my seat. I turn around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

by frankfukhergood / 07/09/2009 at 1:49am / Canada / Miscellaneous