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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31815) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (3142)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

#20782670
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62465) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by thatsfine (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

#21256044
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by mybad - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

#21358355
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (3142)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:22pm - misc - by ImNotFat - New Zealand

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3141)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (3141)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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