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Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42144) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44714) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

#19395712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (2839)

On 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (2839)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (2839)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38520) - you deserved it (2839)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53647) - you deserved it (2838)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (2838)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37969) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40974) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (2838)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States



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