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Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

#17277458
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (2406)

On 07/27/2011 at 4:09am - animals - by CarrieRedburn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (2406)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45344) - you deserved it (2406)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
64 comments

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML

#18344763
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (2405)

On 11/25/2011 at 5:24am - animals - by crimsoncon -

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

#19630328
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (2405)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

#7088196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by Singleton (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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