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Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (2477)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (2477)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML

#4944535
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (2476)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Notabum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML

#4161962
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47827) - you deserved it (2474)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

#8400921
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40525) - you deserved it (2474)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:51am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

#18381976
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:45am - money - by dasteve - United States (Idaho)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (2473)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -



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