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Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

#3806644
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60709) - you deserved it (2686)

On 07/16/2009 at 4:32pm - misc - by dork (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (2686)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (2686)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I learned that my building never received my rent check. Now not only do I have to pay a $40 late fee, but also a $40 fee to stop the payment of the check that went god knows where. FML

#6764410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (2685)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:18pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (2685)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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